SECRET REVELED | VIRAT KOHLI

JAIPUR: Overseeing the last ODI between India and Australia on 16th of October engaged people throughout India and Indian fans residing outside India. This marked a moment of proud for the Indian Team and its Fans. Top scorer was Rohit Sharma with unbeatable 141 run from 123 balls. While Virat Kohli smashed an 100 from 52 balls, making him the fastest Indian batsman to hit a century. Also Shikar Dhawan Contributed 95 runs.

    One surprising news which is REVELED is that, Virat Kohli was kept in dark about the Target which India needed to chase against Australia.

    "Bhai..kya i was told that the target was of 450, which we need to chase." said Kohli immediately after the match to MS Dhoni.

     Later Kohli explained to Satire News Nation(SNN)'s reporter what really happened in the Pavilion. "After our fielding was over, and we were depressed on how could we chase this big target of 360 runs . I went to washroom to make up my mind on how will i contribute to the match. And in this process i forgot the target which need to chase, so I asked Dhoni, and he told that the target is of 450." said Kohli to SNN's reporter. Following this Virat Kohli again went to the Toilet to forget this incident.      

EXCLUSIVE NEWS STORY IN NOBEL PEACE PRIZE

CYCLONE PHAILIN | CHINA'S GIFT TO INDIA

ODISHA: The Cyclone Phailin(pronounced 'pee-leen') which hit the bank of Odisha and Seemandra on the 13th of October, causing an Economic loss of estimated $320 Millions in both the Biju Janta Dal run Odisha and the Congress run current Andhra Pradesh. Although this cyclone have Economically and Socially caused negative impact on people's livelihood but it claimed way less causalities then expected. Only 23 people are recognized dead. This success of the Disaster Management Team have shown Technological Development along with rising swiftness of our government in undertaking Disaster Management Situations. 

    But the shocking news is that the Satire News Nation(SNN)'s sources have discovered that this event was not a Natural Disaster but a Man-made Terrorism. The Chinese Government has been reportedly discovered building a 'Mega Cyclone Ignitor'(MCI) since the mid of 2009. This was reported by the SNN's sources but due to lack of proves and evidences SNN couldn't report it to the United Nations or make it public.

   Although now after consulting the U.N. we have made this sensitive news public. The U.N. and the Indian Government are now going to go on with Jurisdictional Processes before taking any other path. The USA have assured full support the cyclone hit India. "We would like to provide to India in all forms especially after knowing it being a Man-made act of terrorism by the Chinese Government" said John Kerry, the US Secretory of State.

   Parallel to this the Chinese Government have said 'NO' in any such involvement in making the 'Mega Cyclone Ignitor'(MCI).   

Cricket | Odd Even over Heads Tails

DUBAI: The International Cricket Council (ICC) Assembly was conducted on this 3th of October which was Thursday to decide of making some changes in the old age practices of Toss. The ICC recommended introduction of a new practice of toss which was named as 'Odd-Even' by the board of ICC. It resembles the game played by children. This change in the game of cricket is voted 'Yes' by the Board of the ICC.

    "With the modernizing world, the world of cricket also need to match the pace" said ICC board Chief. He added that since the game of cricket has nowadays become much more mind oriented hence now players should no longer depend on luck.

   As per ICC the Official Guild lines will be released within two days time. As said by the ICC Chief these rules will be initially experimented in the upcoming series between India and Australia which is going to start on 10th of October.

   After release of this news many critics praised this decision of ICC for it symbolizes that ICC is Modernizing the games rules and regulation with the time. But some critics too criticized it for they consider that ICC is trying to change the fundamentals of traditional cricket.

    As per our sources the Indian Captain MS Dhoni is against this major revision of Rules and Regulations as he says that, as he don't have kids so who will teach him 'Odd-Even'. In Protest the Indian Captain, MS Dhoni have gone half bald. Following Dhoni's side N. Srinivasan have got angered and have broken the ICC World Cup 2011's Trophy which claimed his job at BCCI. Also Supreme Court have made him remote to access the power of BCCI President although after been elected

    Also as per our sources the Indian Captain, MS Dhoni was seen practicing so called 'Odd-Even' with his teammate Virath Kohli. Dhoni's counterpart, the Australian Captain, Michael Clarke was sighted taking advises from the newly appointed 'Odd-Even' Couch. 

US Shutdown | Resembles 'Bharat Baand'

WASHINGTON: This shutdown of United States of America(some call it 'United Shut-Down Of America') caused due to Conservative Republicans in the House have resisted funding the government for the current fiscal year until they extract some concession from Obama that would delay his signature on healthcare law, which launched October 1.

As the U.S. government moved into the second week of a shutdown on Monday with no end in sight, a deadlocked U.S. Congress also confronted an October 17 deadline to increase the nation's borrowing power or risk default. But both the parties ended up concluding that this is the first U.S. shutdown in 17 years. They also concluded that U.S. Shutdown resembles 'Bharat Baand' which frequently occurs in India. Hence the Congress party entitled this particular shutdown as 'States Baand'. This was done so to make Indians living in the U.S. happy.

In comments on Sunday political talk shows, neither Republicans nor Democrats offered any sign of impending agreement on either the shutdown or the debt ceiling, and both blamed the other side for the so called 'States Baand'

The shutdown have caused temporary shutting down of all the National parks and monuments, also due to lack of funds during the 'States baand' all the thakkas, panwadis etc., are been closed down causing a state of depression amongst the people of the U.S. and also the Indians residing there.

Here we look upon some believes and wondering of people regarding this famously known 'States Baand'-

1. Some People are wondering if following its shutdown, America will launch itself on an upgraded iOS7.
2. Some believe it will allow them to get a free pet as the National Parks and zoos are closed, so they could steal some. 
3. Some even have faith that by pressing Ctrl+Alt+Delete the U.S Government will restart.
4. Many Indians says that Rajnikanth's Laptop's battery is low(or almost getting over) that's why there is a shutdown out there in U.S.
5. Rumours are also there that U.S. President Obama is busy playing the newly released FIFA 14 and GTA 5.
6. It's also said that president Obama is completing his daughter's(Malia and Natash's) pending Holidays Homework.

Kapil's set on fire- a Laughter Setback in the Country

Mumbai: A major set back occurred to the Indian communities over burning of India's #1 Comedy show Comedy Nights With Kapil 's Set. The incident took place at Goregaon Film city on 8:15 (GMT 5:30). This heartbreaking news have caused a major LAUGHTER SETBACK throughout the country. People are seen crying on the roads due to this so called 'Laughter Setback'. 

According to our sources Kapil Sharma, the host of this comedy show is showing a positive attitude towards this event. Mr. Sharma said that the incident will give rise to new opportunities as the construction laborers will get jobs which will enable them to setup a better livelihood. 

Although the official reason behind this event is till now not configured out, Mumbai Police is collecting evidences. But according to our secret sources this heartbreaking event have hand of peoples associated with Comedy Circus Ke Ajoobe. Our secret sources have followed the team of Comedy Circus Ke Ajoobe and after a tough struggle our team saw ARCHANA PURAN SINGH, the judge and VIPUL D. SHAH, the producer of the show with YASIN BHATKAL, the founder of the Indian Mujahideen. We have filed a FIR against both although the Thullas for the have first time ever shown interest in some arrests.

Alleged Archana Puran Singh was found dead due to heart attack. This incident happened when she was laughing madly after knowing about burning of Kapil's set this was followed by a silence when our reporter told her about her hand in this crimianl incident!