India Enters Finals: New Hair Cut not helpful to South Africa

Dhaka: The Great Cricketer Vivian Richards reveled the strategy of South African Coach of cutting the side Hairs of the Confronting Bowlers.

Viv Theory of Lucky Hairs 

 Here we Present the Viv Theory of Lucky Hair:

"The Hairs which were cut from both the sides were made in Effort to enable the Premier Fast bowlers of South Africa to run much faster, hence delivering a greater speed delivery. The bi-side cut hairs make the Bowlers in a Aero Dynamic Shape that enabling them to run fast and Deliver faster bowls."

Failed Move 

    Although after such a Scientific research done by the 'African Board of Development and Research' the result of the match ended up in vain for South Africa.

  Unhappy by this loss..the South African Government have imposed a $50,000 Fine on the 'African Board of Development and Research'.

Kejriwal in Opposition

  Ops..Our dear leader Arvind Kejriwal have legged into the matter and is in effort to make a Probe against the Illogical means of cutting the Hairs of Bowlers..which in end ended up in their Defeat

Narendra Modi on Mobile

   A peculiar show case of inability to adapt to the New Technology is being shown by BJP Prime Ministerial Candidate, Narendra Modi.

   

Recently, Narendra Modi bought a smartphone for around Rs. 20,000 just as a mean to be connected to the world all time, to enjoy the fast Internet experience and to listen to his beloved songs which he earlier used to listen while making and serving chai. 

  The peculiar test which NaMo conducted was as follows:

• He launched the Google Music app.
• Selected his favorite song.
• Parallel to that he took a Stop Watch.
• Started the Song along with the Stop Watch.

When Satire News Nation's (SNN) reporters came through NaMo, we asked the reason for this Scientific Experiment. He explained-

   "Dekha ji. mai dekhna chah raha tha ki kya Gaane ka time sahe h ya nahi. Ess liye maine ye dekhne ke liye Music ke saath Stop Watch bhi start kare thi." 

  "So were you successful, sir?" asked our reporter.

   "No, actually vo Rahul Gandhi ka phone aa gaya tha. Vo actually bata raha tha ki mereko konsi konsi games download karne chaiye.." said Narendra Modi.

  "So which all App did he suggested, sir?" asked our reporter.

  "Some of them were Candy Crush, Temple Run 2, Minesweeper but he laid special mention to Modi Run" laughed Narendra Modi. 

See More:

• BJP to lose 50 Million votes
• Rahul Gandhi to follow NaMo path
• Comment of NaMo on Mosquito Riot in Delhi

Baba Ramdev on Rollar Coaster

   On the eve of nothing, Baba Ramdev set on to visit the Mela in Delhi. But these happy moments at last ended in menace.

   The news which came out of the 'Jai Jai Mela' ground have left Ramdev followers in vain. At 2:30pm today, our sources told us that Baba Ramdev have got into a peril. The idea of going into the Mela made him face a Personal Disaster. According to Doctors he have got 12 Fractures in different parts of the body.

   "Baba Ramdev ji ki tabhiyat abhi bhi nazuk hai. Haam bagvan se prarthana aur Bhartiya Janta Party se funds mangte hai taki hamare Baba ji jald se jald thik ho jayeen" said a senior follower of Baba Ramdev.

   As per the Police investigation, it has been told to media that about how Baba Ramdev got into this situation...

1. Baba ji got onto the Roller Coaster on a high note of excitement.
2. The roller coaster started its Trip #27 of the day at exact 1:30pm.
3. At 1:35pm the Roller Coaster got onto its peak speed. Still Baba Ramdev was Excited and Fearless
4. But in excitement he committed a mistake which could have taken his life.
5. He pulled up the Safety Guard, got up and standed on the his Seat.
6. But immediately under baba ji's Dhotti air filled up.
7. What next, according to Einstein and Newton he felt an upward push.
8. And within 3 seconds he was up in the air.
9. But according to Newton's Law of Gravity he stumbled on the Earth losing his 12 bones and leading to other major injuries.

Hence a combination of Mistake due to excitement and Science led to this disastrous incidence.

  "We accuse Newton for this misshaping to our leader Baba Ramdev. Well it was okay until baba ji got in the air but the problem started when he started falling. If Newton would not have made 'Newton's Law of Gravitation' our baba wouldn't have been fallen from the Roller Coaster." justified a senior follower.

  

Mosquitoes Death caused Havoc in Capital

New Delhi: An Exclusive news have shocked the Nation, leading to a dreadful feeling amongst the Public of India.

   The cause of this havoc generated throughout the nation, especially in the Capital, Delhi is due to a tragic incident in which four mosquitoes were crashed to death when a speeding car ran over them. Soon after the incident large number of mosquitoes gathered at the incident site and blocked the Connaught Place for at least 5 hours. 

   

The most deadly news is that Mosquitoes also set fire some vehicles. They looted valuables of some shops. They also pelted stones at police parties. They shouted slogan against the district administration for their failure in stopping the accident. 
   
    Getting the information about the accident and road jam Arvind Kejriwal rushed to spot and tried to pacify agitating Mosquitoes. Seeing the situation out of control police used mild force to disperse the crowd. But seeing the sensitivity of the situation heavy paramilitary forces have been deployed in the area. Shoot and sight has been ordered.

   Chief minister Arvind Kejrival presided over a emergency meeting and gave necessary direction to officials. Chief minister Arvind Kejriwal also announced compensation of Blankets to each mosquito for safely against the cold in this season of winters. In the mean time, a delegation of mosquitoes met chief minister at his residence and demanded high level enquiry in the killing of mosquitoes in road accident or they would sit on dharna.

   In the mean time BJP came down heavily on Aam Aadmi's government and blamed that the government has been failed in improving the law and order situation in the state. They also said that even the supply of free water have not enabled the government and Delhi citizens to crack down the big flames produced in protest by the Mosquitoes. Mean while Congress party's Youth Neta (Clown Prince), Rahul Gandhi said that if government would have taken immediate step, the life of four mosquitoes may be saved.

   "Yeah kya sunne mei aa raha hai. Bharat ki rajdhani mei char machroo ki hatya. Kya un char machroo ko etnasa bhi jeene ka hak nahi hai? Do you people know how important mosquitoes are for India? I will tell you the reason why. Because mosquitoes  have 6 hands and it promotes economy of India. How? Mami ne kaha tha 'Har haath shakti, har haath tarakk'. So now you people got why is mosquitoes so important?" said Rahul Gandhi. But fortunately the upcoming New Series of 'The Power puff Girls' was going to be started hence Rahul slipped away from the Stage just after delivering some PJs.


Credits- Humor- Satire News

See More

• Rahul Gandhi to Showcase in Comedy Nights with Kapil
• Rahul Gandhi looking for Internship
• Failed Congress Move
• Congress Blame Game